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There are ‘proper’ crapping techniques…

March 14, 2009

It’s now apparent to me that people will try to sell you anything.  I mean ANYTHING.  I’m not talking about a “why don’t you just use a freakin’ blanket you dumbass” Snuggie or a “really, is it that hard to chop garlic?” Slap Chop.  I’m talking about a Life-STEP.  If you are like me and are accostomed to going to the gym, you might be thinking that this is a new piece of exercise equipment.  You would be wrong — and couldn’t be further from what use it’s actual being marketed for.

It turns out that we ‘modern’ folk don’t properly position ourselves for optimum elimination when sitting on our ergonomically designed thrones.  Seems those cavemen did it right when they would stop in a field (or rain forest for the more bashful types), squat down and pinch a loaf.  You see…in reading the insert materials that accompanied my detox substances, I’ve now learned that all my years of stressing and straining were in vain.  Seems all I needed was a simple Life-STEP to have faster, easier, more complete elimination.  This simple device that fits around the base of any toilet is available for only $49.99 (plus S&H) and is recommended for every bathroom in my home.

While I’m all about lessening the time my family and I spend on the crapper, I don’t think I’ll be plunking down the ‘ol plastic to purchase any time soon.  Call me cheap – my husband does – but I think my son’s Walmart obtained $6 Kids II step stool will get the job done.  Don’t worry…I’ll keep you all posted.

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3 comments

  1. This entry brings a whole new meaning to the term “HOLY CRAP” !!!


  2. WTF!!?? How funny!


  3. I’m trying not to picture this.



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