One thing leads to another…

March 19, 2009

I was listening to last.fm yesterday (as anyone who is reading my blog on a regular basis already knows – the rest of you had better get with it) and I noticed what I consider to be a disturbing trend.  It seems the *hot* thing to do is sample alternative rock songs for use with “pop princess” lyrics.  This is just about the most horrific blending of audio media I could possibly imagine.  I’m all for a well thought out and catchy sample – think Rihinna’s “S.O.S.” which so masterfully sampled Soft Cell’s mega 80’s hit “Tainted Love”, although she could stand to whine a wee bit less while attempting to actually sing – the audible train wreck I was subjected to yesterday was nothing short of…well…horrific.  Loyal readers, I give you Hilary Duff’s “Reach Out”.  The perfect example of musical perfection put through a rusty meat grinder.

Where to begin.

1. It’s Hilary Duff
2. TOTAL bastardization of an 80’s classic – Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus”
3. Lyrics my 3-year old (granted, he would have to be extraordinarily perverted but, let’s be honest…with a mom like me he’s well on his way) could have written
4. Gratuitous rapper stuffed in mid-song to provide “edginess” (shame on you Prophet – I know you were new on the scene and all but…come on dude)
5. It’s Hilary Duff

In the spirit of “I know you want to look” I’ll leave you with these tasty little lyrics.  Enjoy every gastrointestinal issue inducing ounce of them.

Reach Out And Touch Me
Before I go insane
Reach Out And Touch Me
Boy, don’t you make me wait.
I’m a dime, and you’re so on the money
Reach Out And Touch Me

*Please see my friend Ram at The Food Here Convenience Store for required antacids.  Tell him Kelsey sent you.



  1. Is this the song she made a racy video for that was all the talk last year? I saw bits of it, but I don’t remember the song.

  2. I am going to have to plead “clueless, table for one” on this. I only listen to my iPod, and now it sounds like I should be grateful for this.

  3. The pink lipstick is nice. It’s like, she wanted to make a “sexy” video and to her that means singing while rubbing herself on things.

    • Not just that but what is UP with the laying-on-the-floor-holding-a-cane thing? Is she under a table?? The bed? I just don’t get it.

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