h1

And hilarity ensued…

April 3, 2009

There are definate perks to working in web retail.

– You know about all the great offers well ahead of time.
– The fast-moving pace ensures that you never have a dull day.
– Crazy products with even crazier names are part of everyday conversation.

jigaLet’s be honest…no one likes to be on the wrong end of a nasty drywall repair and nobody understands that more than the makers of Jig-A-Patch.  Friends, this fine product is an all-in-one gem that does everything short of stroking your naughtiness and making you a sandwich.  Did that pointless piece of shit doorstop fail you once again?  No problem.  Toss “The Penis Mightier” at your “poked-that-stank-bitch-for-the-last-time” husband?  Easy fix.  There is simply no repair too large for this miracle stick.

What’s that?  Have that “no-so-wet feeling”?  You’re in luck!  There’s a product for that too!  Look no further than Jig-A-Loo!  It will lube you up and get you on your hair pulling way in no time and since it doesn’t stain or stink, no one will know but you.  Sneaky little biscuit.

*This story was born at approximately 3:20 this afternoon when I jokingly suggested that a coworker use one of these fine products to fix his ailing headphones.  The place went NUTS and for the next hour or so side bar conversations and rib-sticking emails bounced from inbox to inbox.  One of the finest examples of “you just can’t make this shit up” I’ve had in a very long time.  I’d like to thank each of you who inspired this post and urge that you all spend a little more time studying our fine offering of products in the future.  Laugh on!

Advertisements

3 comments

  1. I see Jig-a-loo comes in two sizes….one to keep in your purse for unexpected encounters when moistness is important and the sorority sized econo pack for those jam packed weekends away.

    Is that about right???


    • Ram – it’s so wonderful to see you out here in “WW”.

      You are very observant and quite the marketing genius to see the potential in having two sizes to choose from. Perhaps Jig-A-Loo will be one of the many fine products you will have to offer in your new south-of-the-boarder store. Or, if this is a wee bit too risque for your potential customer base, you might consider taking inspiration in the name for your own store. Ram-A-Loo has a nice ring to it and so many potential slogans and tag lines.


  2. I can’t believe Billy Mays is not selling this stuff on TV.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: