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The effects of global warming…

April 5, 2009

It’s an exciting evening here in webie world.  I came across a picture today during my frantic search for a photo of an ice cream cake gone wrong (it really is hilarious – and once I find it I will most definitely be sharing it) and my find is your fun!

RUN STUPID!! (am I yelling at me or the dog? hummmm....)

RUN STUPID!!

There are so many things wrong with this picture it was hard for me to know where to begin so I won’t put these into any specific order — you all be the judge of what takes the cake.  HAHAHA!  Cake.  See how I tied all of that together?  Damn I’m goooooood.

– No, that is NOT a hat on my head…that is indeed my HAIR.  It’s no wonder I was never asked to the 7th grade dance looking all jacked up like this.  Did I really believe I deserved to be?  Good grief.  This photo is hard proof that Ogilve home perms should never be sold to anyone who intends to give one at home.  Some things are best left to actual professionals.  I’m thinking of starting a petition to keep these items (and their offending ultra-small spiral rollers) behind locked cabinets at retailers nationwide.  I’m all about saving some young girl, or boy…whatever, the pain and humiliation I felt back in those tender years and ensuring that condom manufactures have a lift in sales due to more teen sex.  HAHA!  A lift.  I did it again!

– I’m almost certain that a savage rabies-infested beast is barreling towards me and not only am I not aware of it, whoever is snapping this photograph didn’t bother to yell “LOOK OUT!”.  Further proof that I was not loved enough as a child and evidence supporting why this blog exists today.

– The Count on Sesame Street was always one of my favorite characters – until the Cookie Monster Pimp came along – but I didn’t realize I took it so literally until feasting my eyes on this oh-so-bitchin’ half caped jacket.  What makes it even more vomit inducing is the fact that I was indeed attempting to be fashionable judging by the circa 1983 trend of “red, red wine” as the fabric color.

– The sheer volume of snow on the ground goes without having to explain.  It’s just miserable and wrong.  “I’m never living above the Mason-Dixon line again” wrong.  That’s pretty wrong.

For those of you out there who know me well enough, I know what you’re thinking.  Geez..why is Kelsey so hard on herself?  Doesn’t she ever have anything good to say?  Just for you…I have decided to include a positive comment on this photograph.  Shocking, I know.

– It appears from what I can see not covered by said awesome jacket that I was in a not-so-fat-phase in life when this picture was taken.  FTW!

*Thanks mom and dad for keeping little treasures like these.  Your words of “you’ll be happy to have them on day…” were fulfilled.

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10 comments

  1. The picture is blurry so I can’t really tell… there is seriously NO hat on your head? How is that ‘do even possible?


    • I have talents Chris. Mad talents.


  2. I can back Kelsey up on this claim, Chris. That is indeed her hair on the top of her head and not a hat. Sad, I know….


  3. Having been a party to this photo behind the scenes, this stops nothing short of making me laugh OUT LOUD every time I take a peek at this little nugget. This is definitely the gift that keeps on giving.

    Thanks mom and dad for being camera whores and taking endless pictures of our childhood. WELL WORTH THE EFFORT!!


  4. I’m sure I was to young to remember this event but all I can say is CLASSIC!!!!!


  5. It’s true! I was there too…the overweight East Indian Cousin who always had to sit at the kiddie table and avert his eyes from the white women.

    Anyway, good times and it really is her hair!!

    p.s. I think it was (and continues to be) a good look! If anyone can pull it off, it’s you.


    • I always knew you lustfully loved me Ram. I’ll wait for you – as long as it takes.


  6. I think you look wonderful! and it is obvious your are very resourceful and intelligent. Why spend money on hats for winter when you can grow one yourself?

    i’m glad i found you :) this is great.


    • You are TOO CUTE Monie. I would love to use you as my mascot instead of my own manly face. Deal?


  7. As one of the “camera whores” very possibly responsible for this masterpiece, I’m extremely happy to hear that something said during your developmental years has finally been recognized as “sage advice”. Now, if only you’d “REMEMBER TO FLUSH”



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