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Stick it in a bottle…

April 6, 2009

My favorite night of the week — answering your email!

Do you read alot of other blogs too?
I’m not sure what you mean by *too* except to assume I read either A) your blog or B) my own blog on a daily basis.  I’ll go with B.  I really do get a kick out of myself.

Did you really get cut off from the blog at work or do you make it up for drama?
OMG let me tell you!!  It is sooooo not made up for drama!! I can see why you might think that with my flair for the dramatics but I’m telling you — it’s very real!!!

What makes you write this stuff?
Honestly, I do it for me.  There’s nothing like a long day at work and then coming home to screaming children and a hubs with a runny nose.  After they are all drugged up and nighty-night…I find my “happy place” sitting my ever-expanding ass in this chair banging some funny out on this keyboard.  I’m pretty sure that I can put shrinks out of business by touring the country speaking of the awesomeness that is blogging therapy.

You must be in a bad mood sometimes.
Only if I let myself think about it.  Ok, now I’m thinking about it and I’m getting in a bad mood.  Why did you have to bring this up and kill the funny?  Why would you ever want to do that to me??  All of my 12 fans out there depend on me to bring them funny and you’ve gone and reminded me to be in a f*cking bad mood!  F*CK!!

Let me know if you still need help with Twitter!
Nah…thanks.  I think I’m good.  It was really hard for me to wrap my head around saying nothing in 140 characters or less but — I think it’s all good now.  Want proof?  Ok then: “once you get the hang of talking about nothing in 140 characters or less, it gets pretty stupid simple – don’t you think? i know i do..”

What happened to the food guy’s blog?
Let me tell you…I’ve gotten more email chatter about this single topic than any other this past week (which is the first time “you suck bitch!” has been surpassed — hooray!).  None of us who know Ram ever saw this coming.  It all spiraled out of control so quickly and now it’s sounding like he’s been jailed for trying to smuggle brazil nuts into Mexico.  You could say that he brought all of this on himself.  After all, he should have known there would be an anal cavity search. Use your OTHER head Ram!

How many kids do you have?
Mine or the ones I’ve purchased?

Why are you so obsessed with pooping?
Hey, what can I say.  When you’re good at something — you’re good at something.  If you all play your cards right you just might get some tips on proper wiping techniques.  It’s not for the squeamish though as it requires you to make *observations*.

Grape seed oil is really a good lubricint?
Indeed it is.  I’m actually thinking about offering it as one of my fine products when I finally get the “webie world” store up and running.  That along with detox pills, LS Jr stools in pink, blue and cream, Total World Domination stickers and t-shirts with written-across-the-ass boxer shorts by special order and my dog.

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One comment

  1. Why aren’t these people commenting regularly? I’d love to discuss bad moods and drama with fellow readers.



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