I’d have to kick my own ass…

August 13, 2009

Few days register a 10 on the “hell’s office” meter.  Let’s be honest…to get that kind of rating either:

a) The building would have to catch on fire, setting off the sprinklers which in turn would soak my beloved 3-hole punch causing it to rust and cut less than fully punched holes.

b) All of my unused vacation time would be absorbed by the company to help cover the rising cost of office supplies.  (this one actually isn’t too far-fetched considering one practically has to barter in order to get a pad of over-sized Stickie Notes)

c) The decision could be made to promote the holiday’s year round – complete with flashing animated gifs, auto-play Christmas music in midi format and a virtual “pimp-your-stocking” experience.

d) I am struck and left for dead on the 7th level of the parking deck by a co-worker who is more worried about making it to a late afternoon nail appointment then driving the recommended 5MPH.  Like I tweeted the other day – this isn’t Pocono Raceway beotch.  SLOW THE F*CK DOWN!

Eh, you all already know the line.

Eh, you all already know the line.

While none of these scenarios have been played out yet (I do think we’re teetering dangerously close to C) I’m still going to score this day a 10.  Nothing like showing up early with the hopes of making real progress on all those back-logged emails only to have the whole day shot-to-shit before 9AM.  I did manage one highlight today while riding the elevator back up to the 14th floor of doom.  A conversation reminded me of Terrance & Phillip and I spent the rest of this God Forsaken day humming “Uncle F*cker” to myself.  It sure did brighten my spirits – enough that I worked up the nerve to request a printer for my desk.  I’ll let you know how my dog enjoys living with her new family.


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