Archive for November, 2009


Water flowing underground…

November 10, 2009

The Rican Suave says it all — without saying a word:

I have lots of fun photos and commentary all sliced up and ready to go, but I find myself only wanting to point out two things tonight.  Oh come on now…don’t do that.  I’ll come back with all the other goodie-gumdrops I have saved up for you.  I’ve had some time alone and believe me – when I haven’t been locked up at my office, I’ve been watching.  People watching.  And let me tell you — there are some real treats out there.  Never mind that I just got around to indulging in the almost-pregnant fiasco that was “Temptation Island“.  Bless Fox Reality Channel.  Just when I thought they couldn’t give me anything better than “Househusbands of Hollywood“, they run an all-day-Sunday (the answer is yes, I do see the irony in that) marathon of this tasty little cream pie.  The only thing that would have made that one-spin-around-the-lineup better was to see some actual hook-ups.  A kiss here.  A flirty touch there.  Please.  I did more with —-

— it’s a good thing for all of us that I’m learning how to stop myself before I take a thought into ‘that place’ and inadvertently induce more vomiting than a bottle of ipecac.  I’m sure my —-

— damn.  I’m getting good at this.


And for our main feature – this guy:
Not foolin' anyone jackhole.

Seriously.  I cannot figure this parking situation out.  Some might say that I need to “let it go” and “get a life” and “who really cares?” or “why does it bother you so much?”.  Let me be clear: things that make people look like they’re either freaks or weirdos or dead or mooching free, covered parking fascinate me.  I make up all these wild stories in my mind about why that car would have been planted in the spot directly behind mine (it might not be assigned but I always get there first) for over 3 weeks to then suddenly move 50 feet and be planted over there for another 2.  What gives?  And before you all start telling me that the person might actually be getting there before me and leaving after me I’m telling you — that is IMPOSSIBLE.  How do I know?  For one, I’ve been working a stupid amount of hours in the absence of my family being home these past 2 weeks.  For the other?  I stick leaves on the tires to see if they move.  Who’s the freak now.  Huh?  HUH??  That’s what I thought.

Monday’s FRIENDS Challenge:
I found myself quoting Joey’s famous line “…and that’s Wednesday.” while telling someone in my office about the same conversation that seems to come up week after week after week.  I don’t care that it was really Monday.  This clip is too funny to pass up.


On the dock of the bay…

November 4, 2009

6-Degrees of FRIENDS: Day 1

Turns out my little “experiment” about whether or not I really would be able to put-my-fanny-where-your-mouth is and link an event in my day back to a specific FRIENDS episode was a success.  At 1PM ET I was offered a leftover sandwich during a staff meeting.  Free food is something I don’t take lightly and once the score is made – no one better mess with my find.  As a coworker leaned over in a half-funny attempt to snag my sandwich, a classic Ross moment immediately came to mind and I couldn’t help but blurt out “MY SANDWICH!?” right there at the meeting table.  Go ahead and sigh out loud at my stupidness in the office space…I don’t care.  It’s all worth it knowing no one will ever dare touch this wanna-be-fat-girl’s food*.

*I easily could have made this a double-dip into the funny FRIENDS pool by including a clip of Joey.  Ah hell.  I’ll just go ahead a blow my load.


The spiciest number in town…

November 2, 2009

Like the placards of the evening cleaning crew – so are the nights of my life.


I usually try not to fall down in front of other people unless I’m either really drunk or just feel like getting some extra attention.

Maybe it’s all the long hours and late nights at the office but I have an idea to embark on a new blog.  An experiment of sorts where no one will have to wear nipple clips and all the animals can sleep without fear of being shaved.  Since I already drive those around me crazy with my never-ending comparison of my daily life to one of many brilliant FRIENDS episodes (the greatest television show of all time — ALL TIME) I figured why not start a blog where I compare the days events to a classic episode.  I’ve sworn six-ways-from-Sunday that just about every situation in my life can be linked back to that situation comedy* so why not annoy the web masses with my genius?  I know, I know…I think it’s a pretty fantastic idea too — and no, you cannot “steal it” and pass it off as your own.  You can have Seinfeld.  I never got much into that show anyway.

*This episode has come to mind a lot lately with my working so late into the night these past few weeks.  While I’m not going to tell you that the scene I’ve selected has happened to me while at the office – I’m not going to tell you is hasn’t either.  Let’s just say…I’m sharing it for it’s “balls out there” style.