Archive for April, 2010


I tumble for you…

April 18, 2010

"The Dumping Place for the Working Man"

There are few times of the year I enjoy more than mid-Spring.  Sure the pollen is so bad it makes you want tear your eyes out with grapefruit spoons and serve them to a little-f*cker-just-tore-through-your-trash raccoon.   But everything else is so wonderful about it, you find yourself not missing them so much.  For me, it’s not just the removal of our trailer-style window film or the fact that we can lock the kids out on the back porch for hours at a time that makes me feel so high — it’s the freshly warm breezes and crinkling of young tender leaves.  The sight of little boys peeing freely in the neighbors bushes and unleashed dogs humping park benches.  The energy that once again returns after the long months of frigid air and darkness.  Good or bad, illicit or illegal, I take it all in with the eagerness of Ronald Miller on his first day of Senior year.

I have found this year to be particularly enjoyable as I’ve been able to celebrate not just the glorious “Open Season” weather, but the return of Mayor McChaise to her deliciously trendy furniture blog.  Oh how I’ve missed her and the constant reminder that no matter how many layers of ‘double the toddlers’ are embedded into our couch cushions, there are plenty of people out there who make my décor look [almost] ready for Park Avenue – crusty fluids and all.


He’s Mr. Brightside…

April 15, 2010

The best thing about having my own blog is that I get to make all the creative decisions.  Wanna make the font 36 point, flashing yellow-and-red?  I’m game.  Wanna lead each entry with an off-the-cuff Pop Culture reference or inflammatory comment?  Sure thing kid.  Wanna showcase photos of half-naked seniors playing BINGO during happy hour at the local Mexican Cantina?  You got it.  Anything I want goes in Webie World and that’s what makes this place so Goddamn special.  See?  Inflammatory rules.

I'll pick you a winner!

I find myself in a current state of “what-the-hell-am-I-doing-with-my-life” and really need to find something that better puts all my glorious talents to use.  What talents, you ask?  Well…there’s my ability to make 3 rounds through the office every morning shaking hands and kissing ass babies before the day begins.  I often joke that I should be in Public Relations.  Then I realized that ‘public’ wasn’t the word I thought it was and decided not to make the move.  So that leaves me back at “what-the-hell”.  One thing I can tell you is that I’m definitely going to continue to work in a creative field.  Please – was that even in question?  Let’s be honest…I’m pretty darn good and whipping up just about any frothy goodness someone could order at the counter, complete with tri-colored umbrella and bendy straw at no extra charge.  Yep.  I go above and beyond.  For now, I’ll stick with what I know.  And that’s excessively loud talking, gossip-laden phone calls and bitch-moan-and-complain sessions at least 4 times a day.  But if anyone out there knows where those qualities might be found of value – please let me know and I’ll be happy to….  Wait.  What’s that?  Drive-time radio*?  Are you kidding?  Sh-yah.  As if I’m the type who enjoys blowing air horns, daring dumbasses to eat table spoons full of dry cinnamon and flirting with the traffic copter pilots just so I gain a reputation and start a blog and make bank off the ad revenue.  Sorry, I think you’ve got the wrong gal.  But thanks for the suggestion.

*Hey Connecticut School of Broadcasting: CALL ME!!


Here she comes again…

April 12, 2010

You can only keep a good woman down so long — and I’m a pretty fantastic woman — so 6 months seems about right.  I’ve not been away so much as grinding on the corporate stump.  What is it that’s brought me back? Blame the jogging, blame the lack of creative outlet, blame the hormones, blame HootSuite being down for maintenance.  Either which way, I’m back to stay.  So get out of my way…and listen to what I have to say.

Ok, so I’m a little rusty but it won’t take me long to get back into the swing of things here in Webie World.  You all are about to embark on the journey that will take me through this summer into ‘official’ middle-age, and you all know what that means.
Cue Tom Petty: BREAKDOWN!